In the mountainous Lao Cai province of Vietnam there is a town called Sa Pa (or Sapa). It is home to several minority groups, whom spend most of their days toiling in the rice fields for a living. However, over the last 15-20 years tourism as emerged as a second source of income. Of all the indigenous groups, the women of the Hmong tribe give a majority of the tours in this region. They can be spotted in their traditional garb, dyed with indigo, and wearing their decorative leg wraps, bound around their calves.
Lai, our guide, did a wonderful job leading us through our 2-day Sapa hike, but she did an even better job detailing the intricacies of village life and nuances of Hmong traditions. As I hiked the mountain trails, I thought about all various things I could write about.
I could post about the arduous, labor intensive, rice growing/harvesting process
I could post about how all the locals are able to navigate the steep slopes in slippers, while the tourists struggled in their hiking shoes and sneakers
I could also post pictures of the beautiful scenery and call it a day…
Instead, I am going to discuss the fine line between cultural tradition and the violation of human rights because where the line is drawn is extremely subjective...
Let’s start with two easy examples of cultural traditions:
The women wear black colored clothing they dye themselves, and the women wear leg wraps (as an accessory to their outfit), which are unique to the Hmong people.
Everyone works in the rice fields during the busy harvest season, but when things slow down the English speaking women/girls give tours to earn extra money for the family. Only women speak English, while the men only speak the local dialect and maybe some Vietnamese.
Another example of cultural tradition (although some might disagree):
Rice farming is a family business. Given the labor intensive nature of rice farming, the phrase “many hands make light work” is applicable, so depending on the size of the rice farm, families will have anywhere from 1-12 kids. The husband and wife logically view this by weighing the costs of raising children against the additional benefit of another set of hands in the rice fields during harvest season.
I argue this is cultural because it is not unlike other rural farming communities around the world. The age at which woman begin birthing kids can be debated, but the quantity of kids is approached rather logically. Women seemingly have a choice here.
Here are two examples that clearly violate human rights:
Neighbors in Sapa look out for each other because village life is a trusting one. Given this environment most children play village streets unsupervised. The 2-year-old girl at my homestay would wander over 100 meters from home chasing after dogs… That said there are bad people whom act as tourists when they visit the village and kidnap these young children while they only have limited memory, motor skills, and communication skills. These children are then raised and human trafficked across the world.
Lai exampled that sometimes foreigners (mostly from China) will visit Sapa looking to marry a local and bring them back to their home country. The local women see a “well to do” foreigner and decide to marry out of their impoverished situation. Sometimes the marriage works out and the women create a better life for both themselves and their kids, but sometimes the women disappear. Lai explained about how her cousin had likely succumb to the latter fate. The calmness with which she told us that her cousin was likely sold into slavery was chilling. This is because the indigenous people know there will be no government support to find their loved ones, and they don’t have the financial means to lead a search.
The tradition I struggle to categorize is as follows:
When a boy is interested in a girl, he will befriend her, and they will begin getting to know each other. If they really hit it off they will marry and live happily ever after. This is pretty standard across most cultures, so I have no qualms with this*.
However, the Hmong people sometimes practice an alternate route to marriage. With the help of family and friends, the boy (whom we will call John) kidnaps the girl (whom we will call Jane) that he wishes to marry. Jane is then held captive by John’s family, and during that time John’s family presents Jane’s family with gifts to convince the family to approve of the marriage. If Jane’s family or friends are around during the abduction, they can merely object, but they can’t really prevent the kidnapping from happening as this has been a long standing tradition among the Hmong people.
When Lai was kidnapped she cried for 4 days. It was only after discussing the situation with her parents, did she decide to marry her current husband, her kidnapper. He came from a good family, and lived close to Lai’s family. Lai would be able to visit her family often, and her mother would be able to help with future grandkids. The grooms’ family paid for the wedding ceremony, so if Lai ever wanted a divorce, her family must repay the groom’s family in full for the cost of the wedding.
If Jane was adamant about not marrying John, then she must escape from John’s house (and the surveillance of his family). Once home, Jane must inform her family of her decision, and only then will her family inform John’s family there won’t be a marriage. I was baffled how Lai was so nonchalant when discussing the kidnappings. She merely accepted this tradition as a way of life, but had she been born in the neighboring Dzao tribe’s, her dating experience would be abduction free. Even if Jane was already “talking” to another boy she could still be kidnapped… The crazy thing is Jane would seriously considering marrying her kidnapper for the following reasons.
The boy she is currently talking to might never come around to marriage.
Refusing to marry might stigmatize/label her as difficult to appease
Fear that there won’t be another opportunity at, and if a woman isn’t married by 30, she will most likely be single the rest of her life…
My first reaction to all of this was, why not do away with all of this kidnapping nonsense… Wouldn’t life be better if people weren’t being abducted and pressured into marriage? However, as I spoke with Lai, I realized that this tradition has been embedded into there culture, so men and women have both come to accept this fact of life. They have all witnessed or been apart of this tradition in one way or another, so it wasn’t really frowned upon. I started questioning more... are arranged marriages a violation of these same human rights? What if the arranged marriages where between a teenage the boy or girl and someone 20 years older… Are my questions a sign of ignorance regarding these other cultures? Are these clear violations of human rights??
My guess is the answer will vary, depending on the country you are conversing in, and with whom you are discussing this with...
Special thanks to Lai for sparking this discussion and for gentling reminding us of all the horrible and wonderful things that people are capable of.
*Caveat here: Girls usually never initiate the relationship with a boy. Village life is still a male dominated society, so it is frowned upon for women to openly show affection or express their feelings. Relationships are viewed similarly, so couples don’t overtly show affection (kiss, hug, etc.) towards each other in public. This is rather common among other Asian countries, but it is slowly becoming less conservative.